We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
