i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize