I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
