The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
