We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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