i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
