You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
whose parrot is this?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
