My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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