Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
