My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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