clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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