she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
