What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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