i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize