I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
