I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
