I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We got so high we made milksteak
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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