A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
