he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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