Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
