I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
3pm strippers are depressing
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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