It's Friday. Sex?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
