after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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