My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
