dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
