Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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