there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
