I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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