I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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