btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
