Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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