Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude i'm inner monologue high
high people should be assigned attendants
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
