Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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