How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
