she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
