i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
