So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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