I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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