I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
