I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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