this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
