I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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