take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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