My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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