Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
