I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
