I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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