I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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