She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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