it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
