party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
