K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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