I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
