She is in my trunk
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
