for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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