I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
