I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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