Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
