Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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  (202): dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay http://tfl.nu/5gp7
  Replies (9) Good night (1281) Bad night (2516) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.

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  (203): thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number. http://tfl.nu/71o2
  Replies (28) Good night (1516) Bad night (4570) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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  (808): Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet? http://tfl.nu/bi9l
  Replies (20) Good night (5334) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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  (517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq
  Replies (65) Good night (799) Bad night (8749) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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  (858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei
  Replies (29) Good night (4936) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8272) Bad night (1297) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

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  (219): He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. http://tfl.nu/xkom
  Replies (4) Good night (2556) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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  (714): I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay http://tfl.nu/rji9
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.

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  (301): I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands. http://tfl.nu/945a
  Replies (8) Good night (1523) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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  (785): God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr. http://tfl.nu/5tpq
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.

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  (641): IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS. http://tfl.nu/d7hp
  Replies (16) Good night (2347) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
  Replies (16) Good night (1661) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look

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  (254): I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look http://tfl.nu/jucs
  Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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  (260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (120)

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