im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
