Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.