I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"