put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.