Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
