it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.