I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.