i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins