So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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