All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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