Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
