I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
